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Life Self

Reflections // 2017

2017 Reflections
Oh, 2017. If I can be completely honest here, with you friends, I’d have to say that 2017 was a very…cloudy year for me. As I sit here, ready but less than enthused to reflect back on the year behind me, my mind draws a blank. I, right now, can’t think of some monumental accomplishment or some major life change. Well, aside from turning 30, realizing I’ve been hiding from myself the past 29 years of my life, and uncovering a newfound spiritual path. So…I guess a monumental year after all?

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” 2017 was a year of questions. All the questions. All the time. And not an answer in sight…

Looking back, I guess I should have seen this coming. This feeling as I sit here a few days away from the new year, reflecting on all the twists and turns this past one has taken me on–seemingly to no particular destination. I started out fully intending for it to be a year of growth, somewhere along the way realizing that I hadn’t planted any real roots. Not in myself, my work, or where or who I even wanted to grow to be. I pivoted to focus on consistency, thinking that if I made it a point to constantly show up in whatever it is that I was doing, I could eventually achieve the growth I desired. Somewhere along the way dropping projects, changing my mind, becoming paralyzed by analysis (or fear whichever word works) and ultimately realizing I didn’t even know what I wanted to be consistent about.

A year of questions.

Part of me wants to look back through my journal over the year to gain some understanding. Hoping that an answer is hidden amongst journal entries or thoughts in my Notes app or in the pages of my work planner. But, a bigger part of me understands that the insight I’m searching for will only be revealed to me some years down the road. In a year that answers.

As solemn as this all may sound, I’m thankful for it all the same. 2017 was most definitely a discovery year and while I may not have welcomed the questions it brought with open arms, I’m grateful for them now and have learned to see the joy in their presence.

So here’s to 2018. Hopefully, a year that answers but if not, most importantly a year that I’m here to receive the questions at all. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life

‘Tis the Season

'Tis the Season
Yesterday, I finally made my way into our garage to begin gathering the Christmas decorations. Last year was my absolute favorite tree. Like of all time. We don’t buy real trees around here (yet) and a couple years ago was the first time we got one that wasn’t a cheapie throwaway. This will be our third year using it and each time it keeps getting better. But last year, in particular, it was the best so far. I really wanted our tree to be simple but magical. I wanted it to have that real feel good Christmasy vibe. The boys were in charge of decorating it as usual and my only request was silver and gold with white lights. It was everything I imagined. This year, we’re building on that same theme and adding more holiday home decor things in the mix. You remember my Soulful Spaces post right? Well we’ve made some progress and I’m finding my footing so with the holidays here, I’m excited to see what we create.

Sorting through the decorations felt really good though and started to lift the funk from earlier this week. Ever since I wrote that post, I’ve been thinking about how to lift my spirit. Not just for the holidays, but for life. It’s obvious something is going on but I’m usually such a Christmas girl at heart so the fact that I just wasn’t feeling good has been weighing on me.

'Tis the Season

As I was going through everything, I came across this ornament that made me pause. This cross is probably the most expensive ornament I’ve ever bought. It’s heavy and brass and sits at the top most branch of our tree, right in the front. I got it last year but, I honestly had forgotten about it until that moment. And when I saw it, I immediately felt at peace.

I don’t know when or why I let my mind and body become consumed with all the things of the world. I still can’t tell you exactly what has been making me feel so uneasy but what I can say for sure is that, I definitely have been letting things that don’t matter get in the way of the things that do. This cross was the thing I needed to see to pull me out of the fog and to remember the reason. Peace, love, hope, joy, and all that good stuff. ‘Tis the season.


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.