This past Sunday, my newsletter was about all the feels I had while watching the Humans of New York series. I’m telling you, for a girl who lives in her feelings, just one episode gave me enough to think about for a lifetime. And while I could make this post about every last one of them, I’ll focus and say that mostly…I thought about how we all have dreams. Shocking right? And you know, contrary to things I say on my blog in moments of deep introspective thought, I’ve always been a dreamer and I’ll always love a good dream. So of course the stories that made me think the most were the ones where people didn’t become who they wanted to be.
I think that’s probably one of my biggest fears. That I’ll never figure it out. That I’ll never “get myself there”, as one New Yorker so eloquently put it.
If I’m creating something, building something, then I’m alive. When I’m not creating something, I’m not alive.
How I want to be remembered is, as someone having achieved their dream. If I haven’t achieved my dream…I don’t deserve to be remembered.
Why do I give up? I lost my energy. I get tired. I get tired of the struggle. I’m not a fighter. That’s why I give up. You gotta be a fighter. You gotta go out there and pitch and sell. You gotta be on.”
~ Humans of New York: The Series Episode 2
I felt this dreamer the most. There was something so familiar in him. An actor who’d imagined he would have made himself a movie star by now. Directing films in Hollywood. Big dreams, us dreamers. And like him, I felt tired. You know, you do have to be fighter. And it can be exhausting. The struggle can be exhausting. But the truth he shared made me understand…I can’t give up. I guess I gotta get out there. And pitch. And sell. I gotta be on. Because like him, I feel alive when I’m creating. And I want to be remembered for me…the girl who chased her dreams…which if you’ve learned anything from me by now you know I believe that that’s quite literally the dream itself.