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Back to the Light

Back to the Light

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
~ John O’Donohue

It’s been quiet around here. Between us, whenever the silence lingers for more than a few days, it’s probably a bit more than normal life things. I feel like y’all know this by now but in the spirit of making things plain, there it is. Unlike many of my past bouts of quiet, this one comes sans emotional breakdown and existential post full of muddled feelings. It comes instead with peaceful reflection and gratitude for understanding. I think I’m finally beginning to understand what it really feels like to give myself grace for growth and growing pains.

The quiet. The lack of words and writing. The lack of creativity and creating. Checking in with myself I see that this has become more than an off week kind of thing. It’s more of a mindset really, a life shift, behaviors and habits that have me slipping back into old things.

“You want to do the minimum amount of work to afford the maximum amount of time, doing the thing that you love. That’s the way I want to live.” ~ Will Smith

I think back to the first few weeks of the year. The ones where my schedule was open and I made space for all the good things. I spent minimal–but intentional and impactful–time on freelance work that felt really good. While the rest of my time was dedicated to writing, creating, learning, loving, and living. It was magical. Those days and the nights where I went to bed good and tired, only because I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. Full of excitement at the next morning’s possibilities. Those are the feelings I want every day.

Lately, I find myself dragging out the evenings. Not ready to go to sleep and face the neverending to do list and growing responsibilities I’ve taken upon myself. Uninterested in the mundanity of it all and a tugging sense of overwhelm on the horizon, all of my own doing. Mindfulness has allowed me to see the path to this place clearly. Fear. A little uncertainty. A bit of doubt. And a convenient bout of amnesia regarding the things I know to be true. Because the truth of the matter for me is: I don’t like being busy. I avoid the grind at all costs. The hustle makes me uncomfortable. And when I’m faced with all of the above, I often drop the ball.

I thrive in the blank spaces in between. To create and live and breathe and be. Anything else brings me to moments like this.

I’m not upset. I hope that’s able to come across in my tone. Other times I have written in this slump, my tone has been one of desperation, exasperation, and even despair. This is a time of hope and anticipation at my ability to see and change.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
~ John O’Donohue


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Work

The Unexpected Thing

The Unexpected Thing
Create without expectations. That was my intention. So honestly, anything that comes out of this year should be unexpected. But this, I was honestly, truly not expecting.

I guess, in a moment of truth, both with you and myself… “without expectation” may have been a bit, ambitious. Or at the very least, a half truth. Deep down, subconsciously, I did have some expectations. I expected to create things. I expected to love them. I guess somewhere I expected to create something that would eventually lead me towards my ultimate dream of creativity and financial sustainment. Or least give me a clear path to that thing. A path where I was neither a starving artist or doing empty work to pay the bills. So somewhere, in the midst of creating without expectations, there were a few.

The good news is, creating without them was/is my true intention which has allowed my mind space to be free. Space for good things to happen. Space for the unexpected.

The more I’ve been creating, the more I’ve been feeling free. Launching my podcast has been so liberating. I’m finally feeling Instagram again now that I’ve taken the pressure off myself. No more constantly feeling like I have to share share share. What I do post, is thoughtful and intentional. Not for brand recognition or a million followers but for the purpose of documenting the beauty of this journey. This blog, this blog! I’ve loved creating from a space where I’m not worried about pageviews (though I still check them from time to time, transparency friends) and solely on sharing my life for those who care to read. Besides, no amount of pageviews gives a feeling quite like seeing someone sign up for my very modest newsletter list. But, people are, which means I’m connecting and that’s why I do this.

My creativity has been free in a way I’ve never experienced before. And though, I’ve had my expectations of creating without them tucked deep inside my conscious, this surpasses them all.

So here’s to more creating. To less expectations. And to welcoming the unexpected good. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Self Work

Always Enough

Always Enough
Full disclosure, this is yet another post about abundance but, I hope you’ll bear with me as I’m trying to move from it being an abstract concept to something I can tangibly explain and hopefully, help you become more aware of its presence in your life. Remember, I’m learning as I grow and growing while I learn. My only goal is to share those lessons along the way with you.

So, can I be honest? Sometimes, I talk really big. Whether in conversations with friends, blog posts here in this space, or even in more sacred places like my journals or quiet meditation sessions. I talk about fear and pushing through it, about taking leaps and keeping faith, about setting intentions and anticipating their manifest. And in my heart of hearts, I’d love to tell you that I practice what I preach without doubt or worry 100% of the time, but that wouldn’t be transparent. That wouldn’t be real. And it certainly wouldn’t be me.

The truth of the matter is, although I speak these affirmations and I believe them to be true, I struggle sometimes in the midst of the work. When the comfortable things are falling apart so that the better things can come together. When I’m questioning my thoughts, my abilities, myself. When it feels like, maybe just maybe, I’m wrong. I struggle with believing the things that I know to be true.

During the latter part of last year, as you’re probably aware, I was dealing with something I couldn’t quite explain, even though I tried many times. Now, in retrospect I see it was a particularly frustrating blend of burnout, dishonesty (with myself), anxiety, and possibly even some depression. There were weeks where I literally couldn’t show up.

“I’m not sure how to fix it, but I recognize it’s there. I feel like I need to make a major change. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach and thoughts about what exactly that change may be have been running wild in my mind.” ~ Feelings

When I became still and quiet with myself, I always received the same message. That it was time to let go of the things that not only weren’t serving me, but were slowly draining me as well.

This terrified me. Because all at once, or more likely in tiny bits that I only processed all at once, every last one of those things–the ones that were draining and not supporting my purpose, were illuminated. And, as I wrote in The Thing You Should Know about Intentions:

Always Enough

I was terrified to let go. I was scared I wouldn’t have enough. That I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself. That I wasn’t capable of more than what I already achieved or had. And looking back, or thinking about it now because these are still very fresh/fluid feelings, I recognize how limiting that mindset is.

At the end of last year, I started to make space in my freelance creative work. I got real with myself. About the things that I want to achieve, the reason I’m doing all of this in the first place, the space that I need to survive/thrive, and the type of work I want to do both professionally and personally. I had to let go of some things in order to make room for those truths to arrive.

And in the process, which is occurring pretty much in real time as I write this, I’ve been affirming my actions and feelings with the mantra: Always enough. It’s what I keep telling myself. Every day. Always enough. Always enough time, space, creativity, love, words, room, money, energy.

And friends, it’s really been enough. Always.

I know that I’m not always the most straightforward and sometimes my posts ramble for days but in the spirit of clarity, let me make this one plain: THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Work

No Dreams Deferred

No Dreams Deferred
This past Sunday, my newsletter was about all the feels I had while watching the Humans of New York series. I’m telling you, for a girl who lives in her feelings, just one episode gave me enough to think about for a lifetime. And while I could make this post about every last one of them, I’ll focus and say that mostly…I thought about how we all have dreams. Shocking right? And you know, contrary to things I say on my blog in moments of deep introspective thought, I’ve always been a dreamer and I’ll always love a good dream. So of course the stories that made me think the most were the ones where people didn’t become who they wanted to be.

I think that’s probably one of my biggest fears. That I’ll never figure it out. That I’ll never “get myself there”, as one New Yorker so eloquently put it.

If I’m creating something, building something, then I’m alive. When I’m not creating something, I’m not alive.

How I want to be remembered is, as someone having achieved their dream. If I haven’t achieved my dream…I don’t deserve to be remembered.

Why do I give up? I lost my energy. I get tired. I get tired of the struggle. I’m not a fighter. That’s why I give up. You gotta be a fighter. You gotta go out there and pitch and sell. You gotta be on.”

~ Humans of New York: The Series Episode 2

I felt this dreamer the most. There was something so familiar in him. An actor who’d imagined he would have made himself a movie star by now. Directing films in Hollywood. Big dreams, us dreamers. And like him, I felt tired. You know, you do have to be fighter. And it can be exhausting. The struggle can be exhausting. But the truth he shared made me understand…I can’t give up. I guess I gotta get out there. And pitch. And sell. I gotta be on. Because like him, I feel alive when I’m creating. And I want to be remembered for me…the girl who chased her dreams…which if you’ve learned anything from me by now you know I believe that that’s quite literally the dream itself.


I’m working on something for us dreamers. If you’ve ever related to any of my posts about chasing dreams, manifesting, and all that good stuff, sign up for my mailing list. I share all the good stuff there first. ~ xoxo



Life Work

Do the Thing

Do the Thing
I’ve always been the kind of girl that lives in her thoughts. I guess that’s what makes writing so appealing to me. It’s “acceptable” to live in your thoughts as a writer. That’s what you do. And to be honest, I’ve never really had an issue living there, in the corners of my mind. Living in my mind has always been okay for me because my mind is so colorful, animated. You’d probably never guess by my minimalist-esque style, natural gravitation to calm soothing colors, and lowkey disdain for patterns. But, that’s really only because my mind is so crazy that everything around me has to be solidly, not. So existing, imagining, dreaming, in my head has been okay. It’s nice there.

Until I began to realized how limiting that can be.

I think, I’ve always known this but, there are simply some life lessons that you have to repeatedly encounter until the message is received. Or maybe that’s just me…probably just me. I’m a mess to message kind of girl. But recently, I found myself in a cycle that was far too familiar. So familiar that looking back in my journals, I could probably start to track them and uncover some real pattern. Like moon cycles, planetary positions, something…Idk. I just know that the space wasn’t a foreign one. Even now, I struggle to put a name on or define that space but just know it had a lot to do with feeling creatively blocked, abnormally tired, extremely overwhelmed, and basically unable to do much of anything. It’s like a frozen feeling. Like my body and mind are both simultaneously doing nothing and everything.

It’s a feeling that comes when I’ve been in my head too much.

I was scrolling Twitter when I came across a thread that perfectly articulated what I feel like in these times. The writer mentioned that, to her, creativity is tied to spirituality so whenever she’s dealing with a creative block it is directly related to a spiritual block. I felt this in my spirit because that is EXACTLY how I feel. That whenever I’ve fallen off of my spiritual practice my creativity suffers tremendously and I even feel the physical effects (see abnormally tired) of this block. She also went on to suggest when this happens you should ask yourself questions in order to help clear the block so to speak.

I had been journaling through this so, I had a few the answers already. I knew I needed to journal more because I definitely hadn’t been until I found myself freaking tf out and I knew I needed to pick back up on my meditation practice because it helps quiet my extremely loud and boisterous mind. But most importantly I think, I knew I had to get out of my head.

I’ve called myself a dreamer for as long as I can remember. And at one point in time, I considered that title a positive one. I’ve always been amazed at the grand visions (if you know me, you know I use that term a lot) given to me and I’ve acknowledged that they are bigger and scarier than a lot of people allow themselves to see. So, a dreamer I was.

But the problem with dreaming is, it’s all done in your head.

I have countless things I want to do floating around in my mind, written down in notebooks, and added onto random list apps on my phone. And then I start to think about them. And I think about how much work they would be and how scary they seem and how I wouldn’t even know where to start. Which makes me think more about breaking down the work, analyzing the fears, creating a plan of action. Which makes me think even more about how to accomplish these things, and what would people think if I tried them, and what if I failed. It becomes a perpetual cycle in my mind. And I never I get out of my head. I never do the things.

Staying inside my mind, is hindering me from living in the present moment. From doing the things instead thinking about them. Writing about them. Dreaming about them. And not living in the present moment effects my creativity, spirituality, and consequently, my life. But, I understand that now. And I’m ready to change.

I’m ready to stop dreaming and start manifesting. I’m ready to do the things.


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Work

Writing Like Nobody’s Reading

Writing Like Nobody's Reading

I’ve been debating this decision for months now. To NaNoWriMo or nah. For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, NaNoWriMo is where writers around the world commit to writing 50k words for their novel/book/series/etc in the month of November. If you’ve read anything I’ve written in the past couple months, you know I’ve been in a space when it comes to my writing and creativity and I’ve finally decided that NaNoWriMo is something I need to do. And I’m excited. In preparation for the month ahead, I felt the need to empty my current thoughts and fears on writing, being a writer, and why I must keep. going.

***

Deep down, I’m nervous that I might not be able to do it. That I have so many words inside me to say but I’ll never be able to straighten them up, pull them together, and make them presentable for consumption. That, as hard as I try to sort through the mazes of my mind, the chambers of my heart, and the depths of my soul, I’ll find too much and not enough at the same time.

I’m nervous that it isn’t pretty. That the edges aren’t clean and neat. And the corners are filled with too much. That I’ll never be the “carefree black girl” aesthetic and there is no filter to blur the mess. That, as hard as I try to make it look nice, it’s wild and it’s rough. And because of it, the message won’t be received.

I’m nervous that it isn’t profound. That it’s all been said and done before. That these grand epiphanies aren’t so grand after all. That as deep as I feel it’s still all very surface level, cliche even, and the only thing different about my thoughts…is the vessel in which they come through. Me.

I’m nervous that it doesn’t make sense. That I’m not eloquent or poetic enough to deliver the thoughts stirring in my body. That my creativity doesn’t expand past stringing together a few well placed sentences for a blog post or a tweet. That a cohesive piece of work, or presence, or dare I say it brand {shudders} is beyond my reach.

I’m nervous that I’ll never find my place. That there’s no space for the girl who is bold, love, and light and quiet, anxious, and dark depending on the day…or the hour. The one’s whose words aren’t accompanied by a soft voice and a warm smile. That my hard outer shell and resting bitch face aren’t just my body but who I am. A cancerian to my core.

I’m nervous that as hard as I try to remember for who and why I do this, I won’t be able to overcome the feelings of doubt. That I won’t understand the difference between their validity (allowing myself to feel) and their truth (convincing myself they aren’t facts).

Because the truth of the matter is, I just want to be heard. And accepted and recognized. Transparency. But it is these desires that live in the same place as my fears so in order to be fearless…I must release them both.

“They say” dance like nobody’s watching, but I’ve never been a dancer. So instead, I’ll write like nobody’s reading. In November…and beyond.

Life Work

Why I Write

Why I Write
In Big Magic, author Elizabeth Gilbert warns about creating to help other people. To be exact she writes:

You are not required to save the world with your creativity…I would prefer that you made your art in order to save yourself, or to relieve yourself of some great psychic burden, rather than to save or relieve us. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

She goes on to give multiple reasonings behind this warning citing the misguided notion of living for others, the joy in creating to entertain yourself, and most notably pointing out that she wrote a travel memoir in order to make sense of her own journey. And we all know how that turned out.

For some time now, I’d say at the very least the past year or so, I’ve felt like I’ve been running around in circles when it comes to figuring out what to do with all these things I have inside. The thoughts, the ideas, the stories waiting to be told. And I don’t think I’ve realized (as clear as I do now) that the trying to connect the dots, the trying to make meaning of what I’m doing, and figuring out what I can do to ensure it can help someone, is the very thing that has been holding me back.

Your art not only doesn’t have to be original, in other words; it also doesn’t have to be important. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

I’m certain I actually discovered this before but, I’m not sure it ever took root in my mind. The reality that I absolutely can (and should) blog, and journal, and create, and write that book simply because it’s something I want to do.
Why I write
I sat down today to write a blog post that I wanted to be helpful. I thought to myself: I’ve been writing a lot about my personal life and lessons I’ve been learning so let me write something that can be really informational and helpful to others. But the reality is (I already do that in my freelance work) BUT more importantly…I write to save, understand, make sense of, document, and discover myself. And:

If what I’ve written here ends up help you, that’s great, and I will be glad. That would be a wonderful side effect. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

So tell me, why do you create?

Life Work

On Tending Your Own Garden

Tending your garden
Yesterday, I posted a piece of work that was essentially me brimming to the edge with creative revelation, energy, and needing to express all that was bubbling within before I burst. It was random, as those kind of posts usually are, but unlike my last stream of thoughts, I provided no explanation as I felt my words alone would suffice. Today though, as my mind has settled and I have come to terms with my thoughts and feelings, I’d like to dig deeper.

***

Earlier this week, I had lunch and a cup of coffee with my best friend. Our goal was to get outside our normal work environments–my home and her office–to discuss creative life, building businesses, and chasing dreams. Instead, it was a therapy session of sorts that was full of epiphanies and  revelations about myself, the path I thought I wanted to explore, and a truth I’d been afraid to admit to myself. Both my conversation with her and an even more “spirited” dialogue with my husband earlier that morning, led to me to uncover some feelings that I couldn’t quite explain on my own. They were stirring, just below the surface, under the facade of feeling good and appearing outwardly successful. Behind the curtain of Instagram bios and professional titles. There was a restless anxiety that I never let myself explore for reasons I’ll explain in a moment. 

What I discovered that day was that I was feeling resentful. And as much as I want to add the “for lack of a better word” here, the truth is what it is. 

So how did I get here? Well, if you get my newsletter you have a little insight into this current season of my life (for context, you can see it here and subscribe if you’d like). I’ve been approaching creative burnout for some time, whether I wanted to admit that to myself or not. And not only was I feeling the physical and emotional effects of burnout, but I also wasn’t seeing any fruits from this labor that was causing me so much stress. 

I had been hustling backwards and grinding hard for everyone except for myself.

It took me some time to actually verbalize that. My nature as a true nurturer has always caused me to place the needs of others before my own. And somewhere, deep down, I had feelings of guilt or selfishness at the thought of focusing on me, myself, and the creations I wanted to bring into this world.

I had begun to feel resentful, and it was no ones fault but my own.

Crops was me expressing those feelings. And while I will say, I am not proud of feeling them, I am glad they were revealed to me. I’ve been able to peel back the layers in understanding the deeper issues that created them. This false belief that it’s…not okay to use the gifts God’s blessed me with for myself. It’s still a battle in my mind. There are parts of me that want to apologize. Parts of me that don’t want to come across as selfish. I blame it on the nurturer in me but I know there are things imbedded deeper still. But there’s a greater part of me that assures me this is right and that’s the voice I choose to listen too. It’s time to tend my own garden. ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Work

Crops

Crops
I have spent lifetimes
watering the seeds that others have planted.
And witnessed harvests.
I’ve collected and hunted.
I’ve shared and I’ve curated.

Content.

I have spent lifetimes
tending to the gardens that others have sown.
And witnessed beauty.
I’ve planted and plotted.
I’ve dug deep and I’ve worked hard.

Uneasy.

I have spent lifetimes
nurturing the roots that others have put down.
And witnessed growth.
I’ve built and sustained.
I’ve cultivated and I’ve created.

Awakening.

I have spent lifetimes.
leaving my own seeds untended.
And witnessed pain.
I’ve ignored and deferred.
I’ve withdrawn and I’ve avoided.

Sad.

I have spent lifetimes
overlooking a barren land.
And witnessed understanding.
I’ve gathered and culled.
I’ve watered and I’ve produced.

Birth.

http://thisbrownqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Crops-Full-Poem-3.png

Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Work

What Really Happens When You Do it Afraid

Do it Afraid

When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. ~ Audre Lorde

Last year I took on one of the biggest, scariest, projects of my freelance career so far. From first contact to completion, I was over here on this MacBook shook okay. Now, I know my fear was irrational at the end of the day, but that didn’t make me feel any less scared. That was over a year ago, and since then I’ve taken on new and challenging things, but nothing quite as scary as that. Interestingly enough though, I find myself in that familiar space once again. Where I’m being challenged to do something that is completely out of my comfort zone and yes, scary. To give myself a pep talk I thought back onto this project and reflected on how I overcame my fear. To remind myself–and you–what happens when you do it afraid.

You don’t stop being afraid, you push through.

There is nothing wrong with being scared. I think sometimes we’re so quick to slap a negative connotation to fear and dismiss it. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s just not okay to let that fear or nervousness control you. You can push through even with the fear. That’s essential to know. That fear doesn’t stop you from being able to do something unless you let it.

You acknowledge the “imposter” but you know the real

For this particular instance and many other instances, my fear was rooted in feeling like I wasn’t good enough or doubting myself. Like who I am to do this? Especially with the fact that I created this career for myself, literally, there was no straight path. I’m calling myself something because that’s what I do but somewhere I was seeking that validation. Imposter syndrome is real. But, you gotta let that go. If you were asked, hired, contacted, sought out, approved to do something, it’s because you can. You’ve shown that much or else you would have gotten the polite “No thank you, I’m fine.” You’ll probably always feel like an imposter. I feel like an imposter adult and I’ve technically been doing this thing for 12 years and I’m responsible for three humans so I mean…if that doesn’t tell you something than I don’t know what does!

Get real with the worst case scenario

“But did you die?” Hangover voice. I know it sounds crazy but during the course of this project, when I felt like I literally wasn’t going to make it I looked at the worse case scenario. I’d submit my work and they wouldn’t like it. That was it. There was nothing after that. Sometimes you just have to look your fear straight in the eye, and when you do you realize, it isn’t even that scary after all.

You rest on the knowledge that YOU HAVE THE TOOLS.

If there is one thing that I’ve come to realize as a freelance creative it’s that, my creativity truly is limitless. If something is brought to me, if I envision something, if I think of something, I have the tools to make it happen. And so do you. Rest on that truth when you’re feeling afraid. Rest on the knowledge you are absolutely capable of handling this thing.

Use your power and do it afraid. ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Work

The Dream Work

The Dream Work

I’ve always wanted my writing to help, inspire, empower, or uplift my people. Especially black women. From my creative endeavors–like this blog–to my freelance work, to volunteering in my community, it’s why the majority of my clients are black women entrepreneurs. This was intentional for me from the moment I started to build my career (and blog) and although it’s been a slow and steady grind, it has been worth every moment.

In the past couple of weeks I’ve partnered with a black owned marketing agency, interviewed a black woman entrepreneur that I admire, and joined a team of black women as a wellness writer for a beauty brand. Not to mention my ongoing work as a content strategist and manager for two really dope black woman centered platforms.

I’m literally doing the dream work.

Also, in the past couple weeks, I learned that talking more about how I got here, can help people who are working to do the same. As much as I am about celebrating all victories, I am notorious for downplaying my own when I think about the world of creative people doing so many dope things. It feels like mine are too small to share, so most times I don’t. But, after helping someone discover their path by simply explaining what I’ve learned and what I did, I understand that sharing is really a way to continue that dream work on another layer.

I wish I could tell you some deep, detailed plan to do the work you dream of doing but, that’s not a formula I’ve mastered. Here’s what I do know though:

Think about what it is that you really want to do. I think one of the biggest obstacles to living the lives that we want is that many times, people don’t actually know. I know I didn’t for a long time. And I have moments where I still don’t. There are a lot of reasons for this. Social media being a big one. Too often we associate what “our faves” are doing to what we want to do. Like, if you see that one person drinking mimosas and traveling every weekend for conferences and now you want to as well. Except you don’t even like mimosas or traveling without your family…that’s a disconnect. It’s tough to fight through the noise and work on being still but, it’s essential.

Concentrate on doing more of what you love and less of the rest. I am a mother and I have bills. Not all of my work is sunshine and unicorns, but the majority of it is stuff I truly enjoy. And I’m constantly working on getting as close to “all” as I can. I make a conscious effort to work with companies and businesses in my freelance work that align with my values. And all of my creative endeavors come from a place deep in my heart. Sometimes this comes with a bit of a sacrifice. That dream client might not exactly pay what you’d like but that’s where being really clear on what it is that you want comes into play. You’ll know your boundaries. And also, doing more of what you love attracts more of what you love.

Understand there’s no right way or one way to do things. This is a biggie. For me personally, I’m in an industry where there are a million and one “gurus” and “coaches” that want to tell you that things are this way and this way only and this is how you do it. Except no. That’s not true. If I believed that for even a minute, I’d be still working my job in corporate America right now instead of writing this while my son is running around waiting for us to go outside. You have a unique vision for your life so your path will be unique. Take what you need from people giving advice–even me, shit especially me because I’m still figuring it out–and keep it moving.

Write the vision and keep writing it. Over and over. Allow it to change and grow. Document what you’ve accomplished. Reflect back on what it took to get there. There’s so much to be said about this. I’ve been journaling consistently–leaving that open to interpretation–since 2015 and when I look back at the goals I wrote down then, the things I was learning, the work I was putting it…it’s kind of wild. There are things that are happening now that are exactly what I wrote, two years ago. Not only is writing a spiritual practice (see Habbakuk 2:2) but it’s also an accountability practice. I’m all over the place, all the time, and referencing my writing is centering. It gets me back on track and my head back in the game. Every time.

Practice gratitude daily. Hourly. All day. You are here, you are taking steps, you are breathing, you are living. You are earning, you are learning, you are setting examples. You are loving, you are growing, you are shining. You are blessed, you are loved. That’s the dream life, that’s the dream work. You have got to practice gratitude for all that you have. Major key.

Go forth and do your dream work love. ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me and things I think might resonate with you.