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Self Words


In life we’re told,
you can’t be too many things.
That, you have to choose.
This or that.
One thing or the other.

We’re given restrictions.
And limitations.
Forced into boxes.
Begged to fit inside neatly.
So that we make sense.
So that we’re understood.

Because messy things can’t fit into boxes,
so we’re told you can’t be both.
Or many.

But those are lies.

Who you are, is not mutually exclusive.
Your being, your thoughts, your mind,
your body, your spirit, your soul.

You can be.
You can be both.
You can be all.
You can be…


When You Really Want Something…

The Alchemist

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. ~Paulo Coelho

I just finished reading The Alchemist and I have to say that it lived up to everything people said about it and more. The Alchemist is one of those books that everyone talks about and says all the things you want to hear about a book like: life changing, top 5 favorites, must read. So when the hubs and I ended up at Barnes & Noble a couple weeks ago and he told me to pick out whatever I wanted? You know, I pulled up my book list so quick. I have at least 20 books on it but my eyes were pulled to The Alchemist so that’s what I got. And guess what? Life changing, top 5 favorite book, a must read for sure.

This blog is not a book review though. This post is about that quote. In my last post, I talked about obliviously hearing or reading things. Taking in as much as I can with deep reflection is one way I’m hoping to combat that. But even still, as I read this phrase countless times during The Alchemist…I wasn’t exactly taking in all that it really meant.

When you really want something, all of the universe will conspire to make it happen.

Can we have a truth moment here? Between friends? I’m a stubborn learner. I’m the kind of girl that struggles with receiving the message without the mess. I don’t love this about myself but transparency…for you and for me.

There’s something I want in my personal life. Something that I know that I can absolutely achieve. I’ve talked about it, I’ve written out plans for it (write the vision), I’ve dreamt about it. But, if we’re being real–amongst friends here remember–it’s resided just outside of my reach because of my own actions or inaction at times. Now, I want to be real here because I do believe there’s truth to the idea that if you really want something, you’ll work for it. Or the similar notion that your actions speak louder than your words (I’m a REAL life advocate of that one). But, and this is a big but, sometimes you really can want something and for whatever reason (fear, anxiety, lack of discipline, I could go on) be paralyzed in your life to do what it takes to go after it.

That’s where I was and that’s where the universe came in and conspired to make things happen…and it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows.

There’s an old saying that goes “be careful what you wish for” and it’s been adapted a million times a million different ways. The main gist of it is really is, to understand that what you’re asking for, you will receive and it might not look pretty to get there. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I don’t want take that thought and be all paranoid about my requests. But it’s a truth. That sometimes there’s a mess to get the message. And sometimes the universe’s conspiracy might be a little rough.

Just some food for thought for those of you in the thick of it. Those having the moments like me. Half crying, half talking through the mess to understand that it’s all part of the plan.

Oh and look at message found in my cup of tea today! After I wrote this and just as I was editing and getting ready to post. Confirmation. I see what you did there God.

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn. ~ Persian Proverb

PS: Get The Alchemist ~xoxo


Spiritual Sunday: Finding God

Spiritual Sunday: A freely written essay series on lessons along my spiritual journey. Ramblings, personal discoveries, and hopefully a cohesive message delivered in love. 

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ~ John 4:4

Growing up in church, I’d always hear that God is everywhere. Only now that I’m consciously walking in my spiritual journey, am I realizing how oblivious to this majestic truth that I’ve been. Before, I “knew” that God was everywhere but I didn’t know. You feel me? But now, I know know. A true awakening indeed.

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? ~ 1 Corinthians 3:16

In you…

There’s something remarkable about reading scripture through my current lens. As if I’m reading them with new eyes, in new light. I’ve recited each of these scriptures more times in my life than I can count. But only now…is the depth and a fresh understanding of this word truly means is being shown to me.

In you…God…is in you.

I sit here and let those words cover me. Wash over me. Fill me. My body has a physical reaction to the word. I can feel myself becoming whole as I meditate on this truth: God is in me.

Peace ~xoxo


Self Work

Self Work

Self work is a phrase that has been steadily on my mind for awhile now. It’s so fitting. In this time and space where I am learning and discovering, working on myself has become something I must pursue with great intensity. I talked about this before but, everything around me, inside of me, is changing. And that’s to be expected you know? The only thing constant in this life is God’s love…and change. The thing is though, great change is hard. And it’s even harder when you’re not equipped to handle it. When you’re not balanced. That’s where self work comes in. And that’s where I’m at. At the point where it’s essential for my well being–is it too dramatic to say for my survival?–to work on myself. But what does that mean? Oh, so much. But let me see if I can break it down.

Spiritual Work: Above all else, nurturing my spirit is one of, if not the most, important parts of myself. When you think about it, and yes this is going to be a bit woo woo, the soul/spirit is all you really have. This body, this life, this time is temporary. But your soul and the spirit is everlasting. Eternal. So if you need to work on yourself, it only makes sense to start there. I am a follower of Christ. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light for me. But, I have beliefs that might not align so perfectly with your “traditional” Christian ideals. For a long time, I suppressed those. But I’m beginning to learn that I was not made to sit in these limiting beliefs when there are such strong feelings planted deep inside of me. I’m limiting and blocking myself from being spiritually whole. I’m not sure what my feelings mean. The only thing I know for sure is that I am God’s Child and Jesus is my Savior. The spiritual work is figuring out the rest. That starts with with study and learning. Putting in the spiritual work.

Mind Work: You know that saying “what you think, you become”? Perspective is everything. Literally, everything. No matter the situation, your perspective can completely change your experience. But mastering positive perspectives is hard. Especially for an anxiety driven, emotional, intuitive, and (overly) dramatic person like myself. Becoming a master of my thoughts is the fight of a lifetime for me. But, I’m beginning to understand it is part of my assignment. Anxiety, and it’s overwhelming effects it can have on the mind, is something I have struggled with my entire life. But mind work goes beyond just that. It’s about perspective on everything. Letting go of things you thought, letting go, letting life flow, and having the outlook that it’s all right/alright. That’s mental strength. And probably something that gets easier when you’re spiritually healthy.

Body Work: And finally, the temple. This is what brings the self work full circle. Mind, body, soul…or in my case soul, mind, body. I’ve written at length my recent struggles with my body. For the past 29 years, I have barely exercised and rested comfortably in my petite frame without giving health, fitness, or nutrition a second thought. Well…when you know better, you do better. Nourishing my temple is such an important part of my self work. My spiritual and mind can be perfectly aligned but without my temple, I’m again, limiting myself on this earth. Changing the foods I eat, being more intentional with what I put in and on my body, and working on my physical strength is the foundation to treating my body like the temple it is. One of daily affirmations speaks directly to this: My body is a temple and I take care to treat it with love by what I put on, in, and surround it with.

So here’s to self work. To focusing on nourishing yourself, in the areas that you need, in the ways that you need. If you’re doing some self work and want to connect let me know. Let us journey together. Peace. ~xo




I watch my youngest son run around in the sun, shirt off, bare foot, locs flowing in the wind. His smile is like a ray of sun and his joy? It immediately pulls you in. For the moment nothing else matters except watching him flourish with innocent black boy joy. I’m here, under the warm rays of the sun, laptop on lap attempting to live up to my dubious title of work at home mom and freelancer. As I become entranced with the breeze, baby boy laughter, and husband’s dancing…I ditch wordpress for an afternoon trip to the park on 70 degree day in February.

My hair is wrapped in a turban. For the life of me I can’t get my locs to lay straight. They’re my alter ego if you didn’t know. Wild where I’m lowkey, stretching towards the sun when I want to lie low, a statement maker while I rather make my way without statement. It’s time for a nature walk. A place where I feel most a peace.

It’s quiet here, save for the sounds of my sun’s footsteps. Jumping off of this rock, trying to climb that tree. The soft sounds of the creek flowing beside us. I realize, quite randomly, that perhaps my hippie mom transformation is complete.


Love Thyself + Trust the Process

Tyshia Shante
I have to say my 29th year of life has been the most transformative thus far. I mean, aside from the arbitrary ideas that come along with 30 steadily approaching–feelings of where I should be, what my bank account should look like, what LIFE should look like–there’s been something much bigger going on. Something deeper. Subconscious even. I didn’t expect to go through so many changes this year. It’s like everything I had come to know, everything I thought I wanted to be, shit…everything I thought I was…was challenged. But in a good way. A way that I needed to be challenged. A way that I needed to experience so I could begin to peel back the layers of this persona and get to know the real me.

At a few months shy of my 30th birthday, I’ll be honest to say that I didn’t really know who I was for a long time. Still don’t if we being real here. Oh, but I’m learning. I know it’s trendy, cliche even, to use the term “woke”. Everybody’s woke these days. But, lowkey, it’s fitting. The past decade, chile yes I said a whole decade, I’ve kind of just reactively gone with the flow. I’ve never been a really questionable, skeptical kinda girl (aside from the times my intuition has blatantly told me “girl this ain’t right”). I was primarily raised in a family of the same. I had some really tough experiences in my early twenties but still, nothing too eye opening. Nothing too life changing. It wasn’t until my mid/late twenties when I started to embrace the complexities, the quirkiness, the afrocentricity, and the spirituality within me that I had always, subconsciously, suppressed.

I don’t know exactly what caused it. I’m sure it was a number of things. Meeting my husband introduced me to a world of art and culture I never knew existed. He helped me unlock the creativity that I had hidden inside, pushed to the back of my consciousness. Blogging and social media introduced me to communities of women who were like me and different from me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. There were a few other things that I’m sure contributed–making my own career path, transitioning to natural hair, growing in marriage, and motherhood. Regardless of how it started, this period of awakening over the past couple years brought me to the interesting space I am now.

And I’m just scratching the surface. I’m just now figuring out what it is I want–in this moment. I added that last bit because I’m aware that life is fluid, it’s a journey, and things will change. But, I’m learning what it is I want, who I am, what’s important to me, what I like, what I believe, what I want to teach my children. I’m learning. Everyday.

I’m envisioning the woman that I would love to become but I’m not her yet. And that’s OKAY. I’m a work in progress, but that doesn’t take away from the Queen that I am right now. 


I love that woman that I am, the one I was, and the one I will become.

Once a month I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me and things I think might resonate with you. It’s also part lesson learned for good measure. And a few extra tidbits along the way. Mostly stuff that didn’t make it here or that I’m too nervous to share on the blog. You know, things I keep for the people who are in this with me ;).


The Year of Consistency

The Year of Consistency

As 2016 was coming to end, I started to think about what my focus word for the new year would be. I’ve been practicing using a focus word since 2015 when I decided my word would be action. By the end of that year I had put myself in the position to quit my job and freelance full time. Action indeed. Last year it was intention but if we’re being honest…the verdict is still out on how that worked out.

During the last few months of 2016 though, I kept thinking about growth. The word kept coming to me as I thought about what all I wanted to accomplish this year. The year of 30 has to be one of tremendous growth right? So just a few days before the clock struck midnight on the 31st, I was all set  to move forward with my year of growth. There was just one thing…in order to grow, one must CONSISTENTLY make an effort in whatever area of their life they are hoping to experience growth.

About that…

I struggle with consistency. Over the past few years I’ve had multiple blogs, in which I’ve struggle posting consistently. I’ve had a YouTube channel, in which I’ve struggled with consistently uploading videos. I’ve started many a budget program and have struggled with consistently updating it. I have started many challenges be it prayer, reading, writing, and have consistently failed in keeping up with it. I have set daily schedules, and business schedules, and household cleaning schedules and have consistently struggled to stick to them. I’ve launched a business and have struggled with consistently building my brand.

Growth? Yea, getting a bit ahead of myself there.

Instead, I’ve decided to commit to a year of consistency. Because I’m certain that if I’m going to improve anything in my life, it’s going to start with that.

So here’s to 2017. A year of consistency. And hopefully, if all goes well, the set up to a year of growth.

Once a month I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me and things I think might resonate with you. It’s also part lesson learned for good measure. And a few extra tidbits along the way. Mostly stuff that didn’t make it here or that I’m too nervous to share on the blog. You know, things I keep for the people who are in this with me ;).


Forward, Always

Forward, Always

Who else is dreaming of binge watching Netflix with a glass of wine and ice cream for the next 4 years weekend? Yea, me too. Hey, I didn’t say I was going to do it but transparency is key here people. Truth. Now that I’m halfway out of my pit of sorrows, I’m ready to starting thinking about what’s ahead. Yesterday, I wrote a reminder that we must seek the kingdom of God above all else. For me, that starts with what He’s put on my heart and in my mind so far. Remember, I don’t have the answers. Not by a long shot, but I do have some thoughts and opinions on what I can do so I’m sharing them here.

+ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ~ 1 Peter 4:10. I’ve made it a point since I started freelancing full time to volunteer in my community. For me right now that looks like serving at my son’s school, one that’s part of an urban school district. Aside from serving as the VP of the SAC (basically a PTO), I write the school’s monthly newsletter and I’ve also volunteered to organize a newspaper club for students to give them a space to tell their stories. I plan to dedicate my time and gifts even more to my community and those around me. Faithful stewardship.

+ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ~ Luke 6:35. Now I did not say this was going to be easy. In fact, as a Christian I know that my path is one that will include hardship. But, if this election has shown us anything it’s that there is a lot of hate in this country we call home. I won’t add to that. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that she has studied God’s love for years and overnight almost lost everything she had come to learn. That can’t be us as children of God. That can’t be me. I’ll practice love. I’ll teach my children love. And let it be said…love can be from a distance friends. Self-care is a beautiful thing. 

+ Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. ~ Proverbs 22.6. To be clear, the votes showed than young people voted differently than the outcome we received. There’s hope for our future. There’s hope for us, as millenials, and for the generation that we are raising. I read an article about the election reactions from students in our school district and let me tell you…the babies are watching. And even though what they see is far less than the example we want, they are practicing empathy and compassion. Let us be mindful of this. No matter our feeling, let’s not raise up our children to be angry or to repeat the ideals of those before them. Let’s show them the acts and grace and love. Let’s raise a better generation than the one we see before us today.

Let’s move forward. In hope and love. We’re going to need it friends. ~ xoxo

Once a month I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me and things I think might resonate with you. It’s also part lesson learned for good measure. And a few extra tidbits along the way. Mostly stuff that didn’t make it here or that I’m too nervous to share on the blog. You know, things I keep for the people who are in this with me ;).


So…What Now?

So What Now?

Peeks out from under the covers Okay okay okay. I know I was supposed to post yesterday. But y’all, for the sake of my sanity I had to take a mental health day. It took everything in me to pull together some creativity for a few deadlines I had to meet and even those were kind of iffy. I was sleep all day. Not like the trendy term “sleep” as in opposite of “woke”–stay woke y’all–but physically sleep. I was up until 1:30am or so Tuesday. Staring at my computer screen in a state somewhere between disbelief and pain. Notice I didn’t say surprise. Because if there is one thing I knew before going into this election is that there’s a lot of “talk” that goes on behind closed doors. Seeing those conversations play out on a national stage via the 2016 election was painful, but not shocking. I mean…just because you know the girl down the street talks about you doesn’t make it feel any better when she says it to your face.

As I watched state after state go to our now President-Elect though, I was speechless. Again it’s one thing to know the girl down the street talks about you but to find out everybody on your street does too? I mean sheesh. Tell me how you really feel. So yea…I needed a moment. Self-care is a beautiful thing.

In the words of my son “welp…today is a new day.” It’s time to move forward. Today the real work begins. What are we going to do in the next 4 years? In our communities, in our homes, in our hearts.

If you came here for the answers sway, sorry to disappoint you because answers I do not have. But, here’s what I do have.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. ~ Matthew 6:33

It’s so important now more than ever, to be seeking God constantly. All day. Everyday. To guide our steps, our words, and our actions. To give us comfort, hope, and peace. And please don’t take that comment as dismissive. It’s okay to feel pain, it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to cry.

Love & Blessings ~ xoxo


Giving Myself Permission

Giving Myself Permission

I bought Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic a couple months ago. Remember that “In Between” space I was in? Yea, I picked it up then. From what I’d heard about it so far, I felt that in the midst of me trying to find my footing with blogging, writing, and running a business, maybe it could shed some light on things. I didn’t read it for months. Busy trying to figure things out on my own ya know? When I picked it back up at the beginning of this month–inspired by my new creative goal I suppose–my eyes were opened. Big Magic is exactly what I needed to read at exactly the moment I needed to read it. Divine timing.

There’s so much magic in that book. I mean, literal gems of insight and wonder. I would be sad I hadn’t read it sooner if I didn’t understand that I may not been as receptive before. I could do a whole book review, breaking it down bit by bit but that’s not what I came for today. Today, I wanted to talk about Permission.

In Big Magic, Liz writes about giving yourself permission to be creative. To do thing, write the thing, make the thing. She goes beyond that too. It’s not just about the permission to be creative, but it’s permission for your creativity to just be. It doesn’t have to be original, or done to help someone. You can do the thing for yourself, to save yourself, entertain yourself, help yourself. Y’all, it doesn’t even have to be important. It just has to be authentic.

When I decided, a mere 12 hours after launching my business pre-sale that I wanted to do a blogging challenge for the month of November there was this small voice in the back of my mind that was like “for why girl?” For what? I had no real answer. I mean who does that? Really. Who launches a new project and then turns around and does a personal blogging challenge? Me. Because I realized a long time ago that writing is how I learn about myself and blogging happens to be my preferred outlet to do that. But even with that realization the voice still questioned “what’s the point?”….

Big Magic is helping me understand that I don’t need a point. I don’t need an answer to that small voice’s question. I’m challenging myself to blog everyday simply because I want to.  And that’s that.

This reminded me of an affirmation from one of Tracy G’s audio vision boards: “I am not stalling my life for someone to grant me closure. I write my own damn permission slips.” ~ Middle Finger to My Old Life x Tracy G

Later days ~ xoxo


The One Thing

The One Thing

As the holiday season comes upon us, I’ve already lowkey found myself starting to think about all the things. Will I be hosting Thanksgiving dinner or just keeping it small with my boys at home? When should we start working on these Christmas lists and where is all this money going to come from? Oh, I want a new Christmas tree, one of those big ones with all the lights. I wish I had the budget to go all out with decorating and holiday traditions! It’d be nice start some new ones but, I never have time to do anything. And so the list goes on.

Yup. The holiday season, in all of its cheerful joy, is also the same season that some of us lose touch the most. We easily become overwhelmed and lost amongst the details that we lose focus on the one thing that truly matters. Jesus. My devotional today was a divine reminder of this: Luke 10:38 – 42.

(38) As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. (39) Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. (40) But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” (41) But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! (42) There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her. ~NLT

As we journey through this holiday season and beyond, let us remember this. The details? They fade away. The food will be eaten. The decorations will come down. The gifts will be forgotten. And all of these material things can be taken away in an instant. But Jesus? His love, guidance, teachings, presence, word…they will be not taken from you.

I’m focused on the one thing. And I will not be distracted by the details.

The devotional that inspired me today was Simplify by the YouVersion Bible App. It’s a 10 day study for the “overscheduled, exhausted, overwhelmed” to help you unclutter your soul <3.

With love & blessings ~ xoxo


A Goal without a Plan is Just a Dream…

A Goal without a Plan

Every year around this time–and again around the end of the school year–I start to think about new planners. I am a planner, sometimes to a fault. Seriously. Even my plans got plans. It’s just part of who I am. When I don’t have a clear plan for my day, week, month I feel off balance. And nobody has time for that. But, if I can be real…even with all this planning, I have yet to find a system that works for me consistently. I’ll use a time blocked planner for a few weeks and then start to feel too restricted. The next few weeks I’ll bullet journal and then feel like I can’t really see what I have going on ahead. I’ve tried big planners, little ones. Separate planners for my business and personal life, and one big planner to keep them altogether. It’s always the same thing. Something works for a few weeks and then…it doesn’t.

That doesn’t stop me from searching though.

Recently I’ve been using this combined three planner system. I know it sounds crazy but hear me out. My Google calendar is a must. If it’s not on my Google calendar, it’s not real, I won’t remember it, it’s just not happening. I use a little notebook–it’s gold and my fave–to write a long list of things I have to do each week. Just get it all out my head and onto paper so I don’t have to think about it. And then I have a weekly planner so I can plan out what needs to get done when. Yea…it’s a lot. But this is a no judgment zone here okay?

With it being November and everything though, I’m on my bi-annual hunt for a planner that gets me. I’m looking at two in particular plus an extra, because why not?

Get to Work Book – This is a daily planner and goal setting workbook that I’ve had my eye on since it first launched a couple years back. I listen to the creator of this planner’s podcast and it’s been really helpful to me on my journey as a multipassionate creative entrepreneur. That plus the fact that this planner seems to cover everything you need when you’re working on something big, makes me feel like it might be the one. Or really close to it ;). It’s pretty pricey though, so it would be a splurge for sure…

The Passion Planner – The instagram posts alone are enough to make me want to get this. Seriously, #passionplanner is like all of the goals. This planner was born from the creator’s analysis paralysis, so basically I feel like she knows my life. Remember I’m the girl whose plans have plans…I get it. The passion planner has so many aspects I like, the passion roadmap, monthly goals and reflection pages, the free space on the weekly layout. The only thing that makes me nervous are the time blocks. I don’t work well with planned time blocks. As much as I want to…I don’t. Decisions.

Hustle Goal Setting Journal – This one is a more of a journal and it’s by my favorite “mentor in my head”, Myleik. She has an interesting way of planning days that she broke down in her first journal Learn More to Earn More. Truth is, I’m getting this anyway, even if it doesn’t work as a daily planner for me. I’ve been using these as a business journal for the past two years and I like having a place to track all my wild ideas, wins, setbacks, new goals etc. I do want to make business journaling a more regular practice now that I have so many different things going on. Have to make sure I’m acting with intention and journaling is one of the ways I reconnect.

Full transparency…I’m leaning towards one more than the other but I still have a couple weeks to go.

Until tomorrow ~ xoxo


Worth the Wait

Worth the Wait

When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer. I changed my mind once I learned how many years you have to go to school in order to become one. My stepmom used to tell me “the years will pass anyway”. But I wasn’t trying to hear that. Ah hindsight. It’s 20/20. The good news though? I’m not a lawyer. That definitely wouldn’t have worked for me. Oh, and the lesson hasn’t been lost. The years will pass anyway.

Monday, I launched a new business venture with my friend. A three year long dream that has finally manifested. And I almost didn’t do it. Oh I had a million and one excuses–read more here. One of them? It was going to take too long.

I did it anyway. Days turned into weeks. Weeks into months. Months to years. The time was going to pass whether I was working on it or not. So I worked. Not all the time, though I should have, there’s goes that hindsight again. But, I continued. For three years.

The products were crafted. The designs were finalized. The supplies were ordered. The website was created.

On Monday our dream went from vision to life. And it was definitely worth the wait.

If you’re on the fence about doing something, creating something, writing something…there are many things that can pop into your head of why you shouldn’t do it. One of them should not be time. The best things are worth the wait.

And if not…I mean…the years will pass anyway ;).

I grabbed this prompt from GG Renee’s #30days30layers challenge. Stretching my creativity for #NaBloPoMo. Catch you tomorrow.