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Self

Self Love

Self love
On this day of love I’m thinking about self love. Or more specifically what truly loving ourselves looks like. When I look for self love or self care in the digital space, it all seems very pretty, very neat. Write yourself a love note, take a bath, douse yourself in essential oils, get a manicure, say no. And while those things are important–I am unapologetically a believer that skin care is self care–I do wonder how fully they embody the true feelings, experience, and meaning of love. Especially in the hard moments, “on the days when you’re feeling more dark than light”, I wonder what self love looks like then. Because it’s both places where the love is found.

When I think about myself I recognize three main ways (or aspects) I practice self love. The first is grace and this is a new one for me. Allowing myself to accept grace when I don’t feel I’m at my best is self love.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:8

As much as I want to be the Tyshia in my mind, the one whose work is always done, and writes beautiful stories every day, spends her time on perfectly crafted creations, has a squeaky clean home (and kids), makes healthy home cooked meals every night, has the patience of an angel with her husband and sons, and generally slays all the things, reality is I fall short. Daily. Multiple times a day. Some days I get more things right than I do wrong, and some days I don’t. Instead of fighting myself about “doing better”, I accept grace for those moments.

The second is self acceptance. This is another new one for me. In She I wrote about not knowing myself for so long. In You I wrote about accepting all of me when I found her. Self acceptance is self love. It’s acknowledging and honoring the process and the flaws. It’s about uplifting both the mess in you and the masterpiece. It’s loving the woman you were, are, and who you will become equally and simultaneously. Self love is I’m here and I accept all of me, even when I think about things I wish I could change, because I’m still a work in progress <3.

The last practice of self love for me is honoring my physical body. Cooking vegan meals and the meticulous process of chopping fruits and vegetables a million times a week to the point of splurging on pre-chopped produced (vegan life hack). It’s taking time to research holistic alternatives for all the things. It’s vitamins and herbal teas and elderberry syrup. But it’s also showers. Long and hot with the bathroom door locked (no interruptions). And it’s big hair, and eyebrows, and skin care. Because one thing that grace and self acceptance have taught me it’s that: when I look good, I feel good and vice versa. I accept that and I accept grace when I look a hot mess (real).

Happy Love Day friends. Don’t forget to take some time to love on yourself. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

The Work

Healing
Can we talk about the work? The process of opening, examining, unraveling, and becoming. The work that most of us (if you read and resonate with my words) are in the midst of exploring. The work that is essential for us to discover ourselves and be free.

In these spaces, overflowing with the perfectly curated aesthetics, minimalist self-care quotes, sunflowers and bunches of sage…it’s easy to overlook the truth that this journey isn’t only full of love and light. And while those are some of the best parts, the easily instagrammable moments, the pretty ones that look and feel good, they are only but a part of the process.

I’m nervous that it isn’t pretty. That the edges aren’t clean and neat. And the corners are filled with too much. That I’ll never be the “carefree black girl” aesthetic and there is no filter to blur the mess. That, as hard as I try to make it look nice, it’s wild and it’s rough. ~ from my post Writing Like Nobody is Reading

The work? The going within, unlearning, rethinking, taking off the mask…It isn’t clean and neat. It isn’t pretty. It’s very much so wild and rough. It’s messy and confusing. It can be isolating and lonely. It’s full of dark spaces, rusty edges, and forgotten corners. And while those are some of the hard parts, the ones we don’t share for the world to see, the moments that feel uncomfortable the most…they are a valid part of the process.

On this journey, I’m learning that the things about myself I thought would work against me– the wildness, the emotions, the sensitivities, the messiness–are a part of my purpose. I have felt isolated from wellness spaces because my healing isn’t cute. Y’all read my posts, y’all know I go deep, and get dirty, and sometimes have to pull back because it’s too much. But that’s my journey to share. That’s part of my story.

So for the women who feel more dark than light during this current season, understand how necessary it is to lean into all of the moments. To embrace the shadows alongside the rays of light. To do the work, to love and spread light, and to explore dark spaces in between. ~ xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

I Want // I Am

I Want I Am
Language has meaning and language has power. And there’s something really powerful about the statement “I Am”. When starting a meditation practice, whatever (or whoever) you study, one of the first mantras that is introduced is OM. It means “I Am”. In the Bible, when Moses asks God’s name, He replies “I Am”. When we’re making affirmations and speaking things into existence, we start each one with “I Am.”

When I first began to explore this idea, how the language we use and how it can affect how we move and act, I started to understand the importance of using “I Am” when talking about the things I “want”.

Am: first person, singular tense of be.

“Be” has many definitions: to equal in meaning, to have identity, to belong to, to have an objective existence, to have maintain or occupy a space, place, or situation. Be is definitive. It just is.

Which made me think about how so many of us spend so much time wanting to be, instead of just being.

As we’re still riding the high of the new year and its possibilities. As we’re working on resolutions, goals, and things we want to do in 2018 (because I’m journeying with you all), let’s change our language. Let’s not want (to have or feel need, to desire). Let’s Be.

I am. ~ xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Motherhood Self

The Hardest Part of Homeschool

Hardest part of Homeschool

Oh homeschool. Can I be honest here amongst friends and sisters? You know, in the spirit of transparency and sharing the mess in between cute Instagram photos and stories of grandeur? While I love the idea, rationale, and even the necessity of homeschool (especially when it comes to raising free black children), I feel very uncertain that I’m cut out for such a task…and maybe even more uncertain that I’m up for the job.

You see, it’s not the homeschooling part that alludes me. It’s the deschooling or unschooling that I find myself having to do when it comes to MY OWN way of thinking that has me feeling so unbalanced and unprepared. It seems as if every other day, I find myself examining traditional “truths” regarding education and learning (among other things) that I’ve held for so long. The hardest part of homeschool is seeing those things through a new lens which is at best unnerving, at worst defeating.

Do you know how unsettling it feels to lead your children’s learning when you feel you have so much unlearning and relearning to do yourself?

Hardest Part of Homeschool Tweet

The more I pay attention, the more I see so many ways that traditional school is failing us (and our black children) and that terrifies me. Mainly because there are so many too many children who will never get a chance. And partly because, I’m still trying to decide if homeschooling is something we want (or can) pursue long term–which is a different story for a different day.

We’re still finding our way with our youngest, still allowing him the space to explore and it’s been a beautiful process to be a part of. He’s brilliant and creative and most importantly, free. If only it could remain as carefree and simple as it feels most days with a 5 year old. Learning side by side, hand in hand with him doesn’t feel so daunting.

But those heavy feelings find me with my third grader who has now solidly voiced his preference to homeschool next year and me agreeing with each and every reason he has to feel to this way. Not to mention the laundry list of reasons I have myself. And they get comfortable when experiencing a particularly tough seventh grade year for my oldest in an evaluation heavy (and disgustingly failing) system.

Just when I thought I had it all figured out.

Essentially, I still have lots of learning to do and that’s the hardest part of homeschool. The overwhelming part. The part that leaves me feeling like, somebody may be more equipped for the job. But with my options looking slim in the realms of traditional education…most days I’m left feeling like there is no right or easy choice. And yet, it’s still one that will have to be made.

My hope is to find balance in the next few months. In communities here in my city, in possible co-ops to share the learning (and unlearning), in personal growth and discovery. In the meantime, I’ll continue to share the cute photos of black boys with books and figuring out the hardest part of homeschool with you. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Self Words

You

You
In life we’re told,
you can’t be too many things.
That, you have to choose.
This or that.
One thing or the other.

We’re given restrictions.
And limitations.
Forced into boxes.
Begged to fit inside neatly.
So that we make sense.
So that we’re understood.

Because messy things can’t fit into boxes,
so we’re told you can’t be both.
Or many.

But those are lies.

Who you are, is not mutually exclusive.
Your being, your thoughts, your mind,
your body, your spirit, your soul.
You.

You can be.
You can be both.
You can be all.
You can be…
You.

Self

A Few Things…

My Truths
Over creative coffee cup conversations with friends about blogging I learned that: sometimes, people just come for the pics and the short pieces of clear inspiration they can take with them along the way. So essentially, a nice way of saying that not everything, all the time, everywhere has to be so deep. We’re talking about me though (rolls eyes). I’m certain there’s an infinite universe of deep inside me. But, I agree and I’ve said before that I wanted to work on balance. Here and in other areas of my life. So, in the spirit of keeping it light (and still transparent) here are 15 completely random truths so you can get to know me…sans life epiphany :).

  1. I wholeheartedly believe leggings are pants. Don’t debate me.
  2. I wear headwraps, sometimes because they’re cute, mostly because my hair is a mess.
  3. Sometimes I eat chicken because chick-fil-a (fake ass vegan).
  4. I am a faux wino, sometimes I buy cheap wine…*whispers and I like it.
  5. I believe “athleisure” (that’s what y’all calling cute leggings and sweatshirts right?) is the greatest creation of our lifetime. See number 1.
  6. I could eat Chipotle everyday (and sometimes I do).
  7. I think Starbucks is gross, but sometimes I buy it for “aesthetic” purposes #bloggerlife.
  8. On days I wear non-prescription glasses it’s because I’m too lazy to wear concealer.
  9. And sometimes I don’t take off my makeup at night.
  10. I’ll love Uggs forever. Basic.
  11. Sometimes I only eat once a day, not because I’m not hungry…because I forget.
  12. I buy overpriced Uncrustables ($10 for PBJ sandwiches though?) because Jr. loves them, hates crust, and sanity.
  13. Instagram stories makes me uncomfortable (if you see me doing them, know inside I’m crying) but I like watching them.
  14. While I love it, I haven’t yet reached the point of liking my natural hair. She wild.
  15. I have this deep seated desire to save the world but I haven’t yet figured out how to save myself. Issa struggle.

~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey. Get my FREE Project Planner when you sign up. 



Self Work

Always Enough

Always Enough
Full disclosure, this is yet another post about abundance but, I hope you’ll bear with me as I’m trying to move from it being an abstract concept to something I can tangibly explain and hopefully, help you become more aware of its presence in your life. Remember, I’m learning as I grow and growing while I learn. My only goal is to share those lessons along the way with you.

So, can I be honest? Sometimes, I talk really big. Whether in conversations with friends, blog posts here in this space, or even in more sacred places like my journals or quiet meditation sessions. I talk about fear and pushing through it, about taking leaps and keeping faith, about setting intentions and anticipating their manifest. And in my heart of hearts, I’d love to tell you that I practice what I preach without doubt or worry 100% of the time, but that wouldn’t be transparent. That wouldn’t be real. And it certainly wouldn’t be me.

The truth of the matter is, although I speak these affirmations and I believe them to be true, I struggle sometimes in the midst of the work. When the comfortable things are falling apart so that the better things can come together. When I’m questioning my thoughts, my abilities, myself. When it feels like, maybe just maybe, I’m wrong. I struggle with believing the things that I know to be true.

During the latter part of last year, as you’re probably aware, I was dealing with something I couldn’t quite explain, even though I tried many times. Now, in retrospect I see it was a particularly frustrating blend of burnout, dishonesty (with myself), anxiety, and possibly even some depression. There were weeks where I literally couldn’t show up.

“I’m not sure how to fix it, but I recognize it’s there. I feel like I need to make a major change. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach and thoughts about what exactly that change may be have been running wild in my mind.” ~ Feelings

When I became still and quiet with myself, I always received the same message. That it was time to let go of the things that not only weren’t serving me, but were slowly draining me as well.

This terrified me. Because all at once, or more likely in tiny bits that I only processed all at once, every last one of those things–the ones that were draining and not supporting my purpose, were illuminated. And, as I wrote in The Thing You Should Know about Intentions:

Always Enough

I was terrified to let go. I was scared I wouldn’t have enough. That I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself. That I wasn’t capable of more than what I already achieved or had. And looking back, or thinking about it now because these are still very fresh/fluid feelings, I recognize how limiting that mindset is.

At the end of last year, I started to make space in my freelance creative work. I got real with myself. About the things that I want to achieve, the reason I’m doing all of this in the first place, the space that I need to survive/thrive, and the type of work I want to do both professionally and personally. I had to let go of some things in order to make room for those truths to arrive.

And in the process, which is occurring pretty much in real time as I write this, I’ve been affirming my actions and feelings with the mantra: Always enough. It’s what I keep telling myself. Every day. Always enough. Always enough time, space, creativity, love, words, room, money, energy.

And friends, it’s really been enough. Always.

I know that I’m not always the most straightforward and sometimes my posts ramble for days but in the spirit of clarity, let me make this one plain: THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

Reflections // 2017

2017 Reflections
Oh, 2017. If I can be completely honest here, with you friends, I’d have to say that 2017 was a very…cloudy year for me. As I sit here, ready but less than enthused to reflect back on the year behind me, my mind draws a blank. I, right now, can’t think of some monumental accomplishment or some major life change. Well, aside from turning 30, realizing I’ve been hiding from myself the past 29 years of my life, and uncovering a newfound spiritual path. So…I guess a monumental year after all?

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston wrote, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” 2017 was a year of questions. All the questions. All the time. And not an answer in sight…

Looking back, I guess I should have seen this coming. This feeling as I sit here a few days away from the new year, reflecting on all the twists and turns this past one has taken me on–seemingly to no particular destination. I started out fully intending for it to be a year of growth, somewhere along the way realizing that I hadn’t planted any real roots. Not in myself, my work, or where or who I even wanted to grow to be. I pivoted to focus on consistency, thinking that if I made it a point to constantly show up in whatever it is that I was doing, I could eventually achieve the growth I desired. Somewhere along the way dropping projects, changing my mind, becoming paralyzed by analysis (or fear whichever word works) and ultimately realizing I didn’t even know what I wanted to be consistent about.

A year of questions.

Part of me wants to look back through my journal over the year to gain some understanding. Hoping that an answer is hidden amongst journal entries or thoughts in my Notes app or in the pages of my work planner. But, a bigger part of me understands that the insight I’m searching for will only be revealed to me some years down the road. In a year that answers.

As solemn as this all may sound, I’m thankful for it all the same. 2017 was most definitely a discovery year and while I may not have welcomed the questions it brought with open arms, I’m grateful for them now and have learned to see the joy in their presence.

So here’s to 2018. Hopefully, a year that answers but if not, most importantly a year that I’m here to receive the questions at all. ~xoxo


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

Abundance

Abundance
Some months ago I wrote a journal entry after meditating on the concept of abundance. A concept that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. Sounds strange, but hear me out. I’ve not struggled with the idea of abundance itself. I embrace it, I yearn for it, I’m intrigued by it. But, I’ve struggle with believing that abundance is already mine. And this struggle has led me to chase so many things that don’t make sense, that I don’t believe in, that don’t align, feed or fuel me in order to obtain it.

But, how do you obtain something that is already yours?

If I’m to understand and believe that my very being is aligned with abundance, then the thing I need to do is follow those things that I’ve been called towards and am pulled to. My personal legend, as named in The Alchemist.

Why is that so scary then? The idea that, you can let go of the things that aren’t serving you, aren’t helping you grow, or aren’t bringing you joy? Why do we feel like, we have to do these things that are so opposite in order to receive the abundance…that we already have? Why do we feel there must be some pain, or sadness, or angst in order to have abundant life? How contradictory.


For me, I sometimes feel torn. Between the truth that my ancestors did not have such choices and the thought that, they fought for me to have such choices so why would I do anything less? It’s a constant battle in my mind trying to figure out if me deciding to wholeheartedly pursue my personal legend is in honor of them, or, a selfish disregard for their experiences.

Most of the time, I rest in the truth that I am here today. And the belief that abundance is mine. And the hope that I’m honoring even the slightest piece of my ancestors struggles by boldly living and walking the paths they laid out for me.

Anything less seems like a travesty.

I mean…that’s all I want for those that come after me. My children and their children and their children. To be able. Whatever that means for them. Not to be whatever this world tries to force them to be. I want only for them, to be able, in the highest sense of the word. And it’s that desire that catches in my throat, illuminating the uncertainties in the corners of my mind.

Will I be able to do it? Without pushing myself to fall in line and do the things that don’t align because they’re “safe”–er. Is this unconventional (to society) path something that will allow me lay a brighter path for them? Will I be able to leave them more than what’s left to me when it’s all said and done? Because isn’t that what we’re all just trying to do?

I have to believe the answer is yes. And I have to believe that the most important things, they have. I have to believe that abundance is theirs too. And maybe, believe the best thing I could do, is to help prevent them from ever feeling this struggle by laying the example. The one that encourages and inspires them to be able and to follow their gifts, curiosities, talents, passions with full confidence that is enough, they are taken care of, and abundance is provided.


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Self

Flowers

Flowers
There are many women inside me.
A garden.
Rich with many flowers.
Each one in bloom.
Separate. But together they are whole.
Both beautiful and complex.

Wildflowers.
That grow with reckless abandon.
Taking root wherever they see fit.
In perfect spontaneity.
No intentions or expectations.
Just present for presence sake.

And roses.
Beautiful and delicate.
Armored, so it’s best not to get to close.
Brave ones proceed with caution.
Past the exterior is a softness.
Where you can enjoy them without boundaries.

Herbs.
For nurturing and dependance.
Here simply to serve.
To give the ones they love the things they need.
Without wanting anything in return…
except to be needed and loved.

And weeds.
Hiding in the shadows.
In the spaces that need tending.
Where I’m too nervous to go so I pretend…
Not to see.
But those are the parts that are most free.

The sacred lotus.
Birthed within deep waters.
Exasperatedly requiring a mess in order to grow.
Experiencing many lives.
A spiritual wonder in the midst.
At home in the thick of it all.

And seedlings.
Of flowers unknown.
Whose roots are planted.
And purpose yet to be revealed.
Waiting to flourish,
To join the others in the wild.


Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my mailing list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Self

In Current Rotation

In Current Rotation

I haven’t done a beauty post in awhile and it’s been forever and a day since I’ve written about style. I know I said before I was going to do more lifestyle posts mixed in with my big life epiphanies but, big life things kept on happening and so it goes. Still, it’s definitely something I want to do more of as I think about the direction of this blog and my plans for 2018. But before all that, I figured I’d ease back in with a few beauty and style things that are currently in rotation.

The Butter Depot

I have chronically dry skin and in the winter it only gets worse. I feel like I’ve tried everything under the sun to help keep my skin moisturized during these months and yet, I always wind up ashy and dry. Not a good look. When I discovered The Butter Depot through one of my clients I fell in love. The Citron Whipped Butter smells so good and it definitely can work for a masculine or feminine scent preference. At first touch, it’s really thick but as soon as it hits your skin it warms and melts in like butter. I’ve even used it on my hair when I needed something a bit thicker than my normal daily leave-in conditioner. And of course, I have to mention, it’s black woman owned which just makes me love it that much more.

Crochet Braids

Speaking of my hair…I cut it all off. I have a really well written, heartfelt post about my hair journey that I’ve yet to share but, the cliff notes version: I started growing locs, I changed my mind, I cut all my hair around my 30th birthday. Since then, it has grown long enough to do crochet braids. Now, let me be real when I say I love my liberating short cut as much as the wild and free spirit inside me does but sometimes a girl just wants to wave her hair back and forth. I’ve been eyeing this particular hair for months and it’s probably my favorite crochet braids style so far. And because we’re all friends here, it only cost me $20. Yes, $20. I think I’ll do a more in depth post about crochet braids, the kind of hair I use, and my technique because I always get asked a ton of questions. I don’t think people understand that honestly, truly, I do the absolute least. Knowledge is power and sharing is caring so that post soon come.

Sweater Weather

Even though I’m a summer baby at heart, I can’t deny that I love the fall. Pumpkin spice, the start of the holidays, sweaters, and boots will always have a special place in my heart. As part of embracing all of who I really am, I’ve been adding a a bunch of chunky sweaters in blush, gray, and black to my wardrobe. Real talk, I really don’t need anything but these three colors to wear. There’s the occasional wine, olive, or navy blue but blush, gray, and black have my heart. I know I have an aversion to pattens at times so one way I give my wardrobe some variation is with details darling. I love wearing a simple item, like a blush chunky sweater, that has some unexpected detail to it. This definitely has to be one of my favorite finds this season.

What beauty and style things do you currently have in rotation? I’m looking for cute boots, a natural wine and nude lipstick, and a satin lined beanie (preferably from a black owned company). Any suggestions? Let me know! ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

Choosing Intentional Abundance

Intentional Abundance
Over the summer, I shared some thoughts that I was having about minimalism. That post was born of frustration and exhaustion at all the stuff I’d found myself surrounded with. I was tired. Tired of the endless piles of clothing that no one actually wears, the catchall drawers full of random, the papers and the cups, the millions of basketball shirts (sorry hubs) and everything else that had found its way into our home. It was driving me crazy and so, looking for some kind of relief, I began to think about the minimalist movement and consider what that might look like for our life.

But when I started to think about things on a personal level, my struggle was less about minimalism and more about intention. And even more so about another major theme in my life: Abundance. I exist in a space of abundance. It’s one of my self-affirmations: I live in the space where grace and abundance reside. For me, it’s not about less. My intention is to surround myself abundantly with things that matter. Love, family, friends, books that resonate, pieces from artisans, artwork from our travels, life, soul, work that stirs my heart. I attract all of that into my life and I’m thankful for it.
Grace and abundance

I choose intentional abundance and to manifest that, it does mean we have to declutter, let go of the things that aren’t serving us, get rid of the meaningless mess. To allow space. Abundant space, that can allow for a clear mind and creative energy to flow. Or, to fill with love and light to do more of the same.

Be intentional friends…And live in abundance. ~ xoxo

http://thisbrownqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Choosing-Intentional-Abundance-Pinterest-1.png

Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

Journeying

Journeying

Everyday, I am becoming. I am in constant bloom. And that’s who I am. A masterful work in progress. All the days of my life.

I’m learning that feeding my spirit on this journey is very much like feeding my body. I research foods, pay attention to how things make me feel, am intentional about what I’m putting in. I feel better, more energized, lighter. But the moment I divert from this path, I feel so much worse than I did before. Like the taste of all that is good and well has redefined all that isn’t.

When I fall off my spiritual practice my soul feels just like that. It’s been opened and awakened. It knows what good energy, positive thinking, love, and light feels like and what it can do in my life. Falling backwards feels so much worse now.

My words were flowing the way I needed them to. My visuals were reflecting how I felt inside. I was attracting work and opportunities that align with my intentions. Meditation and creative visualization were making their appearances in my daily routine. I was writing and becoming. Being still and observing. And then…

Restlessness abounds. And I immediately realize that, practicing meditation, being still, prayer, and journaling had dwindled, succumbing to the busyness of daily life, work and family, paying bills and adult realities. Taking the time to write and pray and meditate had become non-existent. And I just read somewhere, multiple places actually, that you can never be too busy to pray. Message received.

I am understanding that, this road of self discovery and aligning with my purpose is constant. That it requires daily practice and showing up. Every day. You have to embrace this with every ounce of you. Continually listen. Continually show up for you. And when you start to feel and witness the growth, that’s the moment where we stop because we think the work is done.

Keep going. Keep journeying. Keep discovering. There’s so much growing, living, and journeying to do. ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Life Self

Whoever You Are, Just Be That

Whoever You Are

“For a long time I defined myself by what I wasn’t. Which constantly set me up for failure and disappointment. My life changed when I focused on what I was, what I was good at, what I liked most about myself, and what made me stand out.” ~ Issa Rae

You know how when you finally notice something, it shows up everywhere in your life? Like, you can barely decipher whether these things have always been there or is it now that you’re aware, you just notice them more. That’s currently my life with self-discovery and learning to love, embrace, and just be all the layers of me.

While watching the annual celebration of black girl magic this week, Black Girls Rock, that experience has never been more prevalent. It seemed like every black girl that stepped on that stage had something to say about just being yourself. From Yara to Solange to Issa…it was all about embracing who you truly are. But it was Issa’s speech that stuck out to me the most. She talked about the moments where she learned that she’d never be cool enough, pretty enough, or funny enough. And how her definition of herself was built on the things that she wasn’t. This resonated with me to the core because girl, have I been there.

On this journey of learning to just be me, I constantly fall into the cycle of defining myself by what I’m not. I’m not business savvy enough, I’m not deep enough, I’m not woke enough, I’m not poetic enough, I don’t hustle enough, I don’t write enough…and this cycle always ends up at the same thought. That I’m not enough.

“This constantly set me up for failure and disappointment.”

If there is one thing I have learned on this journey that has impacted me the most so far, it’s that who you are, truly, is enough. And your purpose on this earth is to be that person. Because that person is exactly what this world needs. ~xoxo


Every Sunday I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.



Self

What Do You Want to Be Known For?

What Do You Want to Be Known For
Every so often (read as every other day) I have these moments where I wonder what I’m supposed to be doing in life. It’s funny really, when I think about it. The way my mind loves to stay on this existential merry-go-round. Even when I feel like I have a good handle on things for the moment, there’s always another, not to far away that has me questioning everything I know. During a moment like the latter, I happened to listen to a podcast–what else is new–on creative entrepreneurship and life. The hosts proposed that instead of asking yourself what you want to do, ask yourself “What do you want to be known for?”. I liked this question way better because it’s a whole lot easier for me to answer.

I asked my son before, what he wanted to be when he grew up. He told me he wanted to be himself. His answered inspired my own.

I want to be known for me. That’s it. I’m a complex woman with many layers and many titles. I want to be known for embracing all of who I am, boldly and unapologetically.

I don’t fit neatly into any box. I can’t effortlessly sum up what I do or love in a 30 – 60 second elevator pitch. I don’t want to and I’m done with trying. If that means I’ll never make it on to a coveted list or am never recognized for being a pioneer or innovator, that’s more than fine with me. But for the people who do connect with me, the ones whose paths cross mine, the ones who read my words…I hope you see me. Know me for me and all of my many layers, interests, passions and love.

What do you want to be known for?


Each Sunday morning I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me and things I think might resonate with you.