Create without expectations. That was my intention. So honestly, anything that comes out of this year should be unexpected. But this, I was honestly, truly not expecting.
I guess, in a moment of truth, both with you and myself… “without expectation” may have been a bit, ambitious. Or at the very least, a half truth. Deep down, subconsciously, I did have some expectations. I expected to create things. I expected to love them. I guess somewhere I expected to create something that would eventually lead me towards my ultimate dream of creativity and financial sustainment. Or least give me a clear path to that thing. A path where I was neither a starving artist or doing empty work to pay the bills. So somewhere, in the midst of creating without expectations, there were a few.
The good news is, creating without them was/is my true intention which has allowed my mind space to be free. Space for good things to happen. Space for the unexpected.
The more I’ve been creating, the more I’ve been feeling free. Launching my podcast has been so liberating. I’m finally feeling Instagram again now that I’ve taken the pressure off myself. No more constantly feeling like I have to share share share. What I do post, is thoughtful and intentional. Not for brand recognition or a million followers but for the purpose of documenting the beauty of this journey. This blog, this blog! I’ve loved creating from a space where I’m not worried about pageviews (though I still check them from time to time, transparency friends) and solely on sharing my life for those who care to read. Besides, no amount of pageviews gives a feeling quite like seeing someone sign up for my very modest newsletter list. But, people are, which means I’m connecting and that’s why I do this.
My creativity has been free in a way I’ve never experienced before. And though, I’ve had my expectations of creating without them tucked deep inside my conscious, this surpasses them all.
So here’s to more creating. To less expectations. And to welcoming the unexpected good. ~xoxo
Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.