What day are we on? Oh yea, day 8. Yesterday’s post was full of bright spirits and happiness. I’d like to warn you that there’s none of that here. It got all used up yesterday. Sorry, not sorry. Today….today I write from a very different place. And no, it has nothing to do with the election. That’s a whole other post that’s not going to get written because quite frankly, I don’t know how I feel and shit…I’m just too exhausted to figure it out right now. Le sigh, I’m rambling so let me go ahead and get to it.
For those of you unfamiliar, let me just drop the wikipedia definition of superwoman on you real quick:
In sociology, a superwoman is a Western woman who works hard to manage multiple roles of a worker, a homemaker, a volunteer, a student, or other such time-intensive occupations.
Oh. Multiple roles you say? A worker? Check. Homemaker? Ch-depends on who you ask. Volunteer? Yup. Student? Not anymore but can I replace that one with mother and wife? Okay cool. Check. Or other such time-intensive occupations? Can we just file that under life? Managing these many roles is basically mission impossible. Wherever one area flourishes another lacks. Work has been flowing, clients are happy. Oh, I missed a WHOLE month of writing my son’s monthly school newsletter. I’ve been cooking multiple times a week, healthier wholesome meals. Oh, laundry has taken over my basement. Finally signed the boy up for basketball, got the oldest in a talent show, and the baby in an art program! Oh, hey babe…love you…mean it. Get the picture?
Contrary to what you see in the comics, being a superwoman is straight up unfeasible, impractical, and impossible. But trying to be one? Well, that shit just sucks. I would go into to the pressures that come with being a black woman intensifies this by a million, but we don’t have the time. Yet, even though I know this to be true, whenever I fail at being this mythological creature, I feel bad.
What is that? Who feels bad about not being able to achieve something that is actually impossible? Me. As hard as I try to block out the noise of the world, the judgments, the “you don’t my life so why are you concerned about it” people…whenever I fail at being superwoman those are the very first things I think about. That’s the superwoman complex. I’m trying desperately to rid myself of it. I’ve written about it before. I’ve given up on trying to achieve this imaginary notion of balance. I’ve stopped comparing myself to the perfectly crisp, clean Instagram homes, moms, and babies…and most days it works.
But some days, like today, the superwoman complex takes over. It sucks.
Hanging in there. Until tomorrow ~ xoxo