Oh the beautiful complexities of this thing called motherhood. You would think by now, a mother of three, and successfully(?) raising children for the past seven years that I would kinda have a solid grasp on this thing. Maybe? Nope. Well…at least I don’t feel like I do all the time. I wonder if my mother had these feelings? I should ask her. She always seemed so sure of herself, what she was doing, what she wasn’t. Are there things I would do differently than she? Sure, I think that’s something all parents can relate to. But even with that, my mother was so…grounded in who she was and what she wanted to show and teach us as her children. It’s hard to imagine, when I think about that strong, independent woman, that she could possibly have felt the inadequacies that I sometimes feel when stumbling through the trials and triumphs of motherhood. But I should ask her because who knows…maybe she did.
As my kids are growing, and as I grow with them, I’m starting to realize that feeling is kinda just a part of being a mom. To your kids, you look like you know what you’re doing. You’re mom! You know everything! But inside you have no clue. Or maybe that’s just me (insert side eye emoji because I know it’s not just me). You’re just doing what you think is right the best you can for your kids. And that means your version of motherhood will look different from the next mama…and as I’m learning raising 3 very different sons, with 3 very different personalities, sometimes it looks different in your very own house. The point is, motherhood is a roller coaster, one with ups, downs, and upside downs, but even through that, I’ve come to to know that my version of motherhood is good.
With all the uncertainty surrounding life and subsequently motherhood, I have to admit there’s a small comfort. Even behind the questions, the reading blogs to see if someone, anyone out there is going through whatever I may be at the time, the late conversations with hubs discussing one thing or another, there’s a peace. While I may not “know what I’m doing”, below the surface of uncertainty, I really am just as confident as I think my mother was. I know what it is I want to teach my sons, I know the things I want them to experience, I know the options I want to provide them with, and the love and care I have for them. There are things that are important to me that I share with them, and there are things that really aren’t necessary for me to raise awesome kids. And while that doesn’t translate to parenting expert extraordinaire, it’s enough. More than enough in fact.
So as I celebrate my 8th mother’s day I do so in confidence and I hope you do the same Mama! This motherhood thing isn’t easy but we’re doing a great job. Happy Mother’s Day <3!