Life Motherhood

Mommy Files: Conscious Parenting

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram you’ll see me talk a lot about my boys. In case you’re new around here, I have three ages 9, 6, & 2. Up until this year when our oldest entered 4th grade, we’ve been pretty much smooth sailing. Our boys are good kids. They do kid things and get good grades. But 4th grade has been like…a whole new world. And that’s not to say things are bad, but more so I’m definitely noticing a change when it comes to parenting our oldest. So when I heard about Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN with Dr. Shefali Sunday about Conscious Parenting I definitely wanted to tune in and figure out what is going on inside the head of kids…specifically this almost 10 year old fourth grade son of mines.

So what exactly is the concept of conscious parenting??

Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents’ psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parents’ development. Parents unwittingly pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness. To handle the behavior that results, traditional books on parenting abound with clever techniques for control and quick fixes for dysfunction. In Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s conscious approach to parenting, however, children serve as mirrors of their parents’ forgotten self. Those willing to look in the mirror have an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness. Once they find their way back to their essence, parents enter into communion with their children, shifting away from the traditional parent-to-child “know it all” approach and more towards a mutual parent-with-child relationship. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parents awaken to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.

Via Amazon.com

Ok

If it wasn’t for 4th grade I’d be like yea, okay.  But…4th grade. I’m willing and open to changing the way I see this parent thing ;). Sunday’s Lifeclass was definitely an eye opener. These children ranging in ages, were speaking about their feelings, and I was definitely mind blown. I feel like so many times as adults we don’t think or believe our children really know what they want or are talking about but…they do. Hearing some of them speak about things that I find myself guilty of was tough! Especially the one point that a child made about doing his best and getting punished for not doing good enough…essentially getting punished for doing his best. Yikes. It’s also interesting, that my husband and I strive to give our children better than what we had (I mean isn’t that the goal of every parent?) yet, in the same token we take some of the less desirable aspects of our childhood and project them onto our children. For example, pushing our kids to do sports or activities they clearly don’t want to, because WE want them to? Umm hello, Joseph if you’re reading this 😉  Or using the age old phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do” to instruct a child’s behavior. Because how much sense does that make?

Being a conscious parent, for me at least, is an entirely different way of thinking. It kind of pushes what I know about parenting to the side. So while I can’t say I agree with everything, I can appreciate the fact we are entering a new tween phase (in which I know absolutely nothing about) and it’s nice to learn different approaches when it comes to our kids. Here are the main takeaways from the Lifeclass that I intend to carry with me. I hope you find some use too!

Conscious Parenting Quotes

Did anyone else catch the Lifeclass? What are your thoughts let me know!

Stay blessed beautiful!

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XOXO,

Tyshia_Shante

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Danielle Faust (@DanielleFaust)
    October 4, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    Luh Ving Your Blog!

    When I was pregnant with my son (now 2) i promised myself I would be a conscious mother, and read all I could on parenting. I love my parents and I was raised well, but I agree wholeheartedly with that quote. Parents pass down dysfunction and psych issues. And people tend to parent on autopilot. I strive to be what I call “on purpose” and try to be present. I believe our children are wise beyond their years, filled with the power of the universe (or god or whoever u like best) but we just parent it right outta them. My son (and now my daughter) are definitely my teachers. But I will give em a time out if they need one 🙂

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      October 5, 2014 at 11:00 am

      Yay!!! I’m glad you can relate! You are on point about people parenting on autopilot. I strive everyday to really be THERE not just providing but actually engaging with my children. I love your idea of being “on purpose”. Will definitely carry that with me. And yes girl… ain’t nothing wrong with a timeout! 😉

  • Reply
    Mimi
    October 19, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    I saw this and it made me evaluate how we are currently parenting and the manner in which I would like to see us parent. I think people get so used to parenting their children how they were parented that they can’t see that some habits aren’t the best.

    I am working on lots of positive praise. I have found that when I praise the positive behaviors they tend to do those things more. We’ve decided to no longer spank and we are working on lowering our voices instead of yelling as well.

    Each parent has to do what they feel is best, I’m glad my husband and I have an open mind and realize that spanking is not always the answer.

  • Reply
    thisbrownqueen
    October 21, 2014 at 1:11 am

    You are totally right about we parent the way we were raised. I don’t even think we even give it a second thought at first. I’m glad you and your husband are on the same page and open. It can be difficult changing your previous way of thinking!

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