Life Uncategorized

Why I Didn’t Watch Dark Girls

In case you didn’t know, Sunday night on OWN a documentary aired called “Dark Girls”. Here’s the brief overview of the film:

Dark Girls is a fascinating and controversial documentary film that goes underneath the surface to explore the prejudices that dark-skinned women face throughout the world. It explores the roots of classism, racism and the lack of self-esteem within a segment of cultures that span from America to the most remote corners of the globe. Women share their personal stories, touching on deeply ingrained beliefs and attitudes of society, while allowing generations to heal as they learn to love themselves for who they are.

While many of my Twitter timeline was gearing up ready to live tweet this documentary, all excited and anxious to see this controversial film I was filing my nails unenthused, uninterested and quite frankly not here for it. So no, I didn’t watch Dark Girls.  I didn’t stay on Twitter anxiously live tweeting. I skipped the entire thing altogether. I’ll tell you why…

As a dark skinned African American woman I know all about the “dark” struggle. I know about it in the most socially conscious to the most superficial ways of society. I know about it growing up the only dark skin sister in my family. I know about it when I can’t find foundation in my complexion. I know about it when I get backhanded compliments such as “You’re gorgeous…for a dark skin girl”. I know all about it. I get it. I live it. It’s my life. What I don’t get is this “documentary”. I don’t get its need to be made. I don’t get its significance. I don’t think it was necessary.

First, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of black people feeling like we constantly have to display and divulge our own twisted notions and insecurities. Yup, there’s colorism in our race. Ok. Instead of focusing on THAT can we instead focus on more important things that affect us as a race?  Like the fact that my city is closing over 23 (predominantly black) public schools, but yet building a prison that is costing millions.  THAT is something to talk about. Not this age old issue that only WE have a problem with. Because I hate to say it like this Queens but…to everyone else…we’re all Black. GASP What? Yes I said it. We’re all black.

Secondly, I’m tired of dark skinned women having the woe is me card forced on to them. I complain as much as the next woman about the lack of foundation options or the ignorant notion that light is right. But make no mistake I don’t need anyone to feel bad for me. I don’t feel bad for me. I’m not insecure. I don’t need any person, of any color, telling me to love the skin I’m in. The whole idea of the documentary came across to me as a sympathy ploy. “Oh look at the poor dark girl. Someone let her know she cute too.” side eye We don’t need sympathy. Empowerment yes, sympathy no.

Lastly, I am just simply over it. And I think this documentary was overkill. Enough said.

So now that my rant is over 😉 did any of you watch Dark Girls? Why or why not? What are your thoughts? Let me know!

Peace, Love, & Blessings

~

This Brown Queen

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Natalie
    June 25, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    I didn’t even know about it. Guess I’m just out of touch, but you’re right colorism in our race is real and it’s a darn shame!

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      June 28, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      Lol you didn’t miss anything trust me! We don’t even need to feed into what we already know is an issue. Let’s stop talking about and just change it!

  • Reply
    foreverasiam
    June 27, 2013 at 12:56 am

    OHMYGAWD I COULDN’T AGREE MORE! like I don’t even know where to start, I too was the only dark skinned sister, underhanded comments like “ooh you so pretty for a chocolate-” anything referencing chocolate or dark gets me steamed, and I also ignored this documentary for the same exact reason, its like its my damn life I go through it everyday I don’t need a pity party! i know I’m fierce, I’d still be fierce if I were green, just took you a while to notice it! Lol omg I love this post! Colorism is so ugh! It’s sad to see it still around because my younger sister still thinks that she’s “better” because she lightskinned, everyone should have long straight hair, and refers to natural hair as “ugly” or “not done” and laughs at my natural styles. meanwhile, her hair is nl and extremely damaged from trying to fit that “look” she believes everyone should have with weaves. V_V sad thing is, I can’t even change her mind, & my moms the same way.

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      June 28, 2013 at 12:20 pm

      Girlllll. Those so called compliments drive me crazy! I love your comment about being fierce even if you were green! Let em know girl! My youngest sister is the same way. I can’t with her comments that think she’s a “bad yellowbone” her words not mine *side eye*. I had made a facebook status about this once and my own sister argued me DOWN on it about how I need to get over it and take it as a compliment that I’m blessed enough to be pretty for a darkskin girl. I was STEAMING. Oh well. It’s not my job to change her mind. If the color of your skin is what makes a person feel superior…our black sisters are no better than a racist. Yea. It’s that deep!

  • Reply
    CorporateBeauty
    June 28, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    I agree! I didn’t watch. And while I may not be considered dark skinned, I’m still a black woman. And as you stated, to everyone else, we’re all black! Our own people have this problem more than any other group. But, as we know, this is a continuation of the oppression our ancestors (slaves) went through. This will ALWAYS be an issue. And it’s an issue because if the lack of self-love with our people. We (black women) get it the WORST! From everyone else, our men, and worst than that, each other. It’s sickening. In a perfect world we’d all love ourselves and each other, but this is reality 🙁

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      July 26, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      Thanks for commenting! Sorry for the delay in responding! I love that you feel where I’m coming from! Black is beautiful in every shade! And yes, it is a sad sad reality that Black women seem to have gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to so many aspects in life. Even for something that should be a trivial as skin tone. Thanks again for stopping by! <3

  • Reply
    blackmediawatcher
    July 1, 2013 at 2:34 am

    It was a woe is me, black boys are the enemies, and white men “love our skin” type of documentary. Very bias and it leave you feeling more insecure and programmed than before you saw it. I hated it and I hate how many girls eat it up. I am a dark-skinned male and one of my caramel almost light-skinned female friend tried to devalue my experience growing up being called names by black women because she believes the colorism plight of women including her fairer self out weigh that of any black men.
    Basically this documentary makes it look like a black women only problem when it’s a global gender neutral problem.

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      July 26, 2013 at 1:09 pm

      THANK YOU! I’m so glad to get a black male perspective on this! I’ve heard many comments regarding that it left women feeling more insecure. Ridiculous. You are most certainly correct this is definitely a global gender neutral problem. Thanks again for stopping by!

  • Reply
    BritneyDearest
    July 20, 2013 at 2:19 am

    I didn’t watch it and the fact that heard that there’s White men at the end praising Black women as if they couldn’t find any Black men who love Black women is absolutely ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I’m married to a white man, but I would kick his butt if he participated in something like that. Lol. I agree. I’m tired of the “woe is me” ideology. I made a “failed post” about this that I’m going to post. I have a huge birthmark covering half my face, you think I wasn’t teased horribly? But I don’t let that affect how I feel about myself. I don’t want sympathy. I had the opportunity to get it removed, but I decided to keep my birthmark. God knows what He was doing when he made me this way.

    • Reply
      thisbrownqueen
      July 26, 2013 at 12:55 pm

      SMH. Yes I heard about the ending. All of the comments I heard about it actually supported the very reasons I did NOT watch it lol. I think you post that failed post! Kudos to you on staying true to the way God made you! I posted a similar post about loving yourself completely on here a while back. Kind of touching on growing to love and flaunt features that I was teased for. No sympathy around these parts! Thanks for commenting! <3

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