Hair Motherhood

What Are We Teaching Our Sons?


As most of you know, I’m about 2 months into my journey of transitioning to natural hair and I have my good days and bad. I think it’s safe to assume that, anyone who has been on this journey experiences moments in the beginning where you’re just not sure. Not sure about a lot things. If you’re me, your unsureness would go something like: Am I using the right products? Will this leave in work? Did I do those twists right? Does this bantu knot look nice? Do I look crazy? Why am I doing this? Whatever the case may be, you go through it. This past weekend, I was having a particularly rough time with my twist out. I’m somewhere between the point where, I “like” my natural texture, but I still don’t really know how to handle it. I’m wishing that I could just NOT have the relaxed ends anymore because they make me frustrated. I find myself trying out styles and loving the natural curl pattern at the root and just being utterly disappointed at how my relaxed ends just don’t hold up. BUT I still can’t really grasp the idea of cutting it all off. It’s a catch 22 I tell ya.

So, I did a twist out using my method that I talked about here. It was a success! I was feeling pretty confident and loving my big hair, don’t care. The Mr. was loving it. I was feeling myself…And then I had an interesting moment with my 4 year old prince. Now in case you’re new around here, I used to be relaxed, super relaxed, like every 4 – 6 weeks touch up relaxed. Thought I was gone with the wind fabulous *insert Kenya twirl*. This is the mother my son always saw. So now 2 months in to my natural journey…my prince spoke up. We’re in the car and he says “Mommy? Are you going to get you’re hot bun back?” (that’s what he calls a bun). I say “Why? You don’t like my hair?” Prince Shawn replies in a ever so sweet way “Well…I do…but…your hair just looks a little crazy.”

Now. HOW would my son know what crazy looks like? I feel it’s safe to assume that his idea of “crazy” had to come, at least in part, from me. I felt disappointed. I had inadvertly taught my son the very thing that I was now trying to go against. Why must my natural hair look crazy? I thought I was WERKING it. And I WAS.

That brief, and probably super insignificant to him, conversation got me thinking. What am I teaching my sons about natural hair. I’m the first woman they encounter in life. What do I want them to learn? To remember? It’s definitely not that natural hair looks crazy. So while I’m still unsure on many things, what I am sure of is I’m on the right journey!

Peace, Love, & Blessings,


This Brown Queen

You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    June 1, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Reblogged this on A young woman's Journey.

  • Reply
    June 3, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this post! Kudos to you for being able to be candid and share your reflection with us all. 🙂

  • Reply
    June 5, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    You look beautiful in your picture! Kids say the darndest things lol I’m sure you’re doing an awesome job as a mommy 🙂

    • Reply
      June 6, 2013 at 1:41 pm

      Thank you! I’m trying ;). Yes they do! And my 4 year old always has the most random comments.

  • Reply
    June 17, 2013 at 11:17 am

    I went through a similar situation with my daughter.

  • Reply
    October 28, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Hello Brown Queen,
    Ah, little boys, what to do with them, hehehe, your hair is very pretty and you are wearing it, don’t worry, doing great with your baby and teaching him that girls look beautiful with their own natural hair, can’t beat that!!! Keep up the journey and thanks for posting. Take care doll.

  • Reply
    Vintage Natural | What Are We Teaching Our Sons? | This Brown Queen
    March 13, 2014 at 8:16 am

    […] NATURAL post from This Brown Queen originally posted in June […]

  • Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: