On this day of love I’m thinking about self love. Or more specifically what truly loving ourselves looks like. When I look for self love or self care in the digital space, it all seems very pretty, very neat. Write yourself a love note, take a bath, douse yourself in essential oils, get a manicure, say no. And while those things are important–I am unapologetically a believer that skin care is self care–I do wonder how fully they embody the true feelings, experience, and meaning of love. Especially in the hard moments, “on the days when you’re feeling more dark than light”, I wonder what self love looks like then. Because it’s both places where the love is found.
When I think about myself I recognize three main ways (or aspects) I practice self love. The first is grace and this is a new one for me. Allowing myself to accept grace when I don’t feel I’m at my best is self love.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:8
As much as I want to be the Tyshia in my mind, the one whose work is always done, and writes beautiful stories every day, spends her time on perfectly crafted creations, has a squeaky clean home (and kids), makes healthy home cooked meals every night, has the patience of an angel with her husband and sons, and generally slays all the things, reality is I fall short. Daily. Multiple times a day. Some days I get more things right than I do wrong, and some days I don’t. Instead of fighting myself about “doing better”, I accept grace for those moments.
The second is self acceptance. This is another new one for me. In She I wrote about not knowing myself for so long. In You I wrote about accepting all of me when I found her. Self acceptance is self love. It’s acknowledging and honoring the process and the flaws. It’s about uplifting both the mess in you and the masterpiece. It’s loving the woman you were, are, and who you will become equally and simultaneously. Self love is I’m here and I accept all of me, even when I think about things I wish I could change, because I’m still a work in progress <3.
The last practice of self love for me is honoring my physical body. Cooking vegan meals and the meticulous process of chopping fruits and vegetables a million times a week to the point of splurging on pre-chopped produced (vegan life hack). It’s taking time to research holistic alternatives for all the things. It’s vitamins and herbal teas and elderberry syrup. But it’s also showers. Long and hot with the bathroom door locked (no interruptions). And it’s big hair, and eyebrows, and skin care. Because one thing that grace and self acceptance have taught me it’s that: when I look good, I feel good and vice versa. I accept that and I accept grace when I look a hot mess (real).
Happy Love Day friends. Don’t forget to take some time to love on yourself. ~xoxo
Most Sundays I share a letter from my journey with those on my email list. WELL SPENT is part things I’ve come across that inspire me, things I think might resonate with you, and a lesson from the journey.